The Wife

Quite a year

2011-05-26T20:22:00.000-07:00

To say that I have neglected this site would be a severe understatement. It's been a year full of change for us. A new city, a new way of life. So much change for so many important reasons, but the most important of which being the four of us.

We miss the familiar and the people we love so much like crazy. But I think we are finally settling in to this new chapter and it is getting really good here.

Countdown

2010-05-25T23:24:00.000-07:00

My husband was kind enough to remind me tonight that I am merely a week away from turning the big 3-0. This has been a crazy hectic May, to say the least. I guess I've just lost track of time.
I'm excited to be getting to this milestone. I'm expecting a good year, and I'm planning to do it up right. Hmmm....

Interesting? You betcha!

2010-02-17T20:53:00.000-08:00

I am in need of a dream interpretation. I had one of the craziest dreams and I just can't seem to shake it, so I thought it would be interesting to just put it out there and see what happens.

So in my dream I had just stolen this computer chip from someone and I was on the run. Well, actually this person had stolen the chip first so it really wasn't his and I was taking it back, I guess. The weird part was that I had a monkey with me and it was helping me steal the chip and get it back to it's rightful owner. We were ducking into rooms and different buildings trying to hide from several people. The best part I noticed about having the monkey with me was that it was really quite when we were needing to hide, and that I was oddly okay with the fact that it didn't talk although it followed direction well.

At the end of the dream we were looking for a getaway car because I thought my own car would be bugged and what not, so we ended up looking for another vehicle. Then I got the great idea that we should steal a motor home. We found one, we got in and started driving away...then I woke up.

Yeah. I know. Have fun!!!

Not even close

2010-01-30T06:00:00.000-08:00

For whatever reason, I have been watching a lot of Lydia's Italy on PBS on the weekends. I love her! She always has yummy recipes and many of them are surprisingly simple and easy. Makes me long for an Italian grandmother to call my very own.

A couple of weeks ago, she was making an Italian white bean and kale soup. It sounded so good! I'm the only one in my household that likes soup at all, and I could, and have in the past, eat it everyday. Well a few days later, I was watching the tail end of the Rachel Ray show and watched her make a variation of the same soup. At that point I decided I had to make this soup for myself. I didn't have any of the correct ingredients and I couldn't go to the store, so I began poking around my kitchen. I didn't have pancetta, but I did have smoked turkey sausage links. I didn't have white beans, but I did have dark red kidney beans. I didn't have kale, but I did have spinach. I had a lot of red potatoes, so I decided to add them as well. After it came up to simmer, I tasted the low sodium chicken broth I had put into the soup and realized it didn't have much flavor, so I added a cup or so of V8 juice and some red pepper flakes.

Long story short, the soup turned out great and I was able to portion it into individual containers and freeze it for when soup just sounds good. Soup freezes so well, fyi. I don't think I will ever be able to go back to canned soups ever again.

It's always nice when a plan comes together!...?

Apparently, it can also be wonderful when nothing comes out the way you intended at all.

Silly life lessons...they always turn up in the darnedest places.

Weekend wonderland

2010-01-28T08:39:00.000-08:00

We took our children to see the snow for the very first time in their lives this weekend. It had been a long time since I had been in the snow myself! A big storm had been in the forecast for Friday night, and since it was raining so hard here all week, my oldest had her soccer game cancelled. We decided it would be a great opportunity to let the kids get their first taste of snow.

We arrived in Prescott just as the first snowflakes began to fall. The kids were so excited! It snowed all night and the next morning we were able to play in a few inches of powder from the front yard. My cousin-in-law was gracious enough to let us stay with them and to help us find a great place to have some sledding fun Saturday afternoon.

We found a great little spot with a foot or two of fresh powder and a gentle incline. The guys created this luge-type run for the sled. The girls were so adorable, laughing and screaming through each ride.

Then....the boys got bored....

They found a steeper hill from which to slide. I can't resist posting my husband's amazing journey. Granted it was far funnier to watch in person, but this video still makes me smile every time. Enjoy, kids!

A Love Story

2010-01-09T21:09:00.000-08:00

I have been a stay-at-home mom for over 5 years.

After a while I began to realize how much I sucked at it. I didn't know a thing about a new baby, and housework may as well be the death of me. As a person with perfectionist tendencies, doing the same job, day in and day out, without recognition, without vacation time, without a finish line, this job has had it's share of days of making me crazy.

So every once in a while, the kids will spend the night with family and my husband and I will have the night and the house to ourselves. I'm supposed to love it, I guess, but the truth is I hate not seeing their little sleeping faces in those little beds. They may not be babies anymore, but they still look like those same tiny people I would rock to sleep and watch over in their cribs.

As their mother, I have been given the duty of protecting them and helping them through life. But the truth is they are helping me far more than I help them. They have not just made my life better, they have truly saved it.

Every decision I make is based on thoughts of them, thoughts of their father, of us as a unit. I hate to think of my life without them. So I suppose I am writing this to remind me now and always that they are my life. Not because they have to be, not because I am obligated, but because I need to attempt to repay my debt to them for all they have done for me.

So one day, if this blog still exists, and they are reading it, they will know that being my kids has a far deeper meaning than might appear at the surface of our relationship.

I need to thank them more for that. Being grateful isn't about saying thank you, it's about living the thank you.

Thank you to my beautiful children for being yourselves. Thank you to my husband for sharing this gift with me. I love you. All.

Lyrics by Mariah Carey, James Horner, Will Jennings

2009-12-24T22:14:00.000-08:00

Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play

My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too

Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I'm not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go

Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh

If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time

I feel you Christmas
I know I've found you
You never fade away
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love

Where are you Christmas
Fills your heart with love

Growing pains

2009-12-23T06:34:00.000-08:00

Personal growth is never easy. Lately for me, it has been down right painful. I find it pretty amusing that at the end of my 20s, I am now seeking maturity, trying to really nail down what I want to be when I grow up, and really find my purpose for being on this planet. It's like reliving those high school days all over again...a crossroads, so to speak. You knew some big changes were coming, but you had no idea what that really meant.

In all of my reading lately, I have realized how crucial purpose is. Life is nothing without it. It's like trying to drive a car without gas...you won't get too far. I have been an at-home mom for several years now, and I have been to the bottom and back during that time. I have been walking in circles long enough, and I am ready for a change. Change can be scary. Change can be hard, even painful at times, but it is a necessity in growth. Growth has been hard for me because it means changing habits and really looking at yourself; the good, bad, and ugly of it all. But you have to realize and accept all of it and own it to make change possible. I do want to be a better mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend and I will be striving for that for the rest of my life...one can always be better today than they were yesterday. But what I am really looking to be, is a better me. More accepting, more forgiving, more focused, more centered....of me. Then of others in my life who deserve my best. I am finally ready, for the first time in my life to stare down greatness....in the mirror.

Just call me the Grinch

2009-12-20T16:57:00.000-08:00

Why I hate....errr, strongly dislike Christmas.
Second only to Valentine's day, Christmas, in my humble opinion, is one of the worst displays of American holiday commercialism. I am sad to hate Christmas, but I think it is out of control and completely lost it's way. I think this recession has really done me some good because it is making me want a purpose for everything. Even if you are one that is inclined to strip Christmas of any religious meaning, it was once a day to spend with family, doing what you enjoy with the people you enjoy being with.

Now, at least to me, it has become a parade of bombarding newspaper ads and 'great deals' and about getting gifts and doing crazy things in order to get your child the latest and greatest toy so they can have what other kids have. Seriously, parents who trample people down to get their hands on something probably made of plastic...seriously?

I think I have personally lost my meaning of Christmas. We have no real traditions in our families. Maybe that's the problem. So I think I will be spending this next year thinking of ways I can make Christmas more meaningful for myself and my children. I want a core to this holiday that is bigger than exchanging gifts and baking cookies. (We do all of that now.)
What are your Christmas traditions? (fyi: I may steal it.)

Pain

2009-12-20T16:02:00.000-08:00

Pain is universal. It is without prejudice. It comes in many forms. It is dark. It is enlightening. And sometimes when you think you have endured your limit, you find more is waiting for you around the next bend. So you take it on and somehow survive. Survivors may even call it empowering. And I suppose when I don't survive that final pain; well, that will be that then.

I don't mean to be dark. My husband teases me for it, calls me his pessimist. But I just like to be in control too much to be let down, I think. Ha!

I have many scars from pain. Some physical, but many you can't see and few even know about. But every time I see one, I am reminded of how it got there, and how I made it through the healing process from open wound to distant memory. But I am okay with my scars because they are just part of my journey. I believe I am who I am, where I am, because of the things that have happened to me in my life. The good, the bad, and the ugly of it all is what makes me, well, the current me.

We are currently learning about control, me in particular, and the serious lack thereof. But I am also learning that there is a great deal I can still control, and those were the things I should have been spending my energy on all along. I am being taught a new way. It is a painful lesson for sure, but a lesson that was needed.

So I guess I am really just writing this for myself, because I am in a bit of a painful spot in my journey these days, like so many people. And I guess that I want to be able to look back and recall the darkness so I can appreciate the light that much more.

I have to say that as much as I might hurt right now, I feel like a clear vision is somehow making its way through for us as a family. For the first time in a long time, I feel like we have an action plan, (with many escape routes, of course). I usually hate the word plan. I learned a long time ago how silly they are, and that life does what life does and you will either bend or break. Maybe we can call it a thought out direction, a series of small goals to obtain in order to reach an ultimate goal that goes far beyond my own power and capabilities.

The pain may be coming in waves right now, but I will ride this one to the end. And I will be better for it.

Mobile Posts

2009-12-12T18:04:00.001-08:00

My genius hubby, aka author of the previous post, finally figured out how to help me post blogs from my new phone. Yay!
Prepare yourself ;)

my husband rules

2009-12-12T17:59:00.001-08:00

Life is good because I have my husband.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

2009-08-08T09:41:00.000-07:00

I used to think this was a terrible commercial...then I became a parent of a school aged daughter. This song has been stuck in my head for over a week. Now I get why parents and kids alike are so ready for school to start again by end of summer. My daughter misses her friends. Home apparently is not as action packed as school, so I must seem boring to her. And I think she is like me and she just like to learn new things all time. My brain seemingly goes to mush if I do not feed it new information on a continuous basis.

So we are all heading back into the school swing with anticipation and appreciation.

I heart knowledge!

Work it!

2009-08-05T05:42:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to lose weight for about a year now. I have been successful, but I still have a bit more to go. But as I have gone along in this process, I have become less concerned with dropping lbs, and more interested in decreasing my body fat percentage and increasing muscle tone and firmness.

For the next six weeks, I will be training my body to build new muscle, which in turn will burn fat on its own. This means eating on a strict schedule and making smart, healthy choices to eat more consciously. This will also include strength training and yoga...the yoga being mostly for the mental aspect. I am expecting to enjoy this process. I really like the idea of being healthy on the inside, which will hopefully be seen on the outside too. I am also looking forward to trying new things and to being a better example to my daughters. Lots of changes, one step at a time.

Rescheduled

2009-08-04T06:15:00.000-07:00

Life hasn't been too regular since school let out in May. I didn't realize how much I would miss the schedule. We are quite the scheduled family and I may have become a bit too obsessed with it. I never really had much of a routine with my oldest. Her dad never had a very normal shift at work and it always seemed to be changing anyway. But when baby #2 came along, I had to have some type of normal in our lives. Last year, when my oldest started school, I knew we would need a very consistent life in order to stay on top of everything and make sure the girls were sleeping enough.

But this month will be the greatest of all. Not only are we back to school and the old routine starts up again, but my husband will be on a regular day schedule at work! I mean a real, just like regular people do it schedule! It will be a first in our 8 years together. We can start and end our day at the same time together...maybe even have some quiet, alone time in the evenings after the children go to bed. Maybe even have dinner together every night. The possibilities are looking large, and I'm loving every minute.

The Longest Vacation

2009-08-03T05:38:00.000-07:00

This July, I took the longest vacation of my life to date. My girls and I spent about 3 weeks away from home! Considering how hot the summers are here, I was happy to escape for a little while. Being a stay at home mom for nearly five years, I usually jump at the chance for a change of scenery. I would have never made it that long if it wasn't for the fact that my husband was with us for most of it. We left town just 4 days before he went on vacation and only stayed another 4 days after he went back to work. It was nice to be away, but I was certainly ready to come back home and stop living out of suitcases. It was nice to miss my house, my friends, my family and my regular life. I now appreciate it all the more.

Happy 30th, Mitchell!

2009-06-24T00:00:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to my wonderful husband.

I hope this milestone makes you reflect fondly on your past, be excited for your future, and walk boldly in the present.

I love you and I am grateful everyday to have you in my life.

Happy birthday to you....and many more!

I have a parrot

2009-06-23T22:05:00.001-07:00

So my daughter has been out of school for a few weeks now and she was excited to be able to watch cartoons in the mornings again. I didn't realize how bad of an idea this was until this last weekend.

We got rid of our cable about six months ago, so there are only a couple of channels that have cartoons at all and one of them is cartoons around the clock. Unfortunately to pay the bills, I guess, there are infomercials between each show. The same few infomercials day in and day out...not good for kids...they remember everything!

I was getting ready the other morning when my daughter walks in and is watching me flat iron my hair. She looks at me with a disgusted look on her face, points to the iron and says, "Those crush and burn your hair. You need an In Styler. It makes your hair smooth and silky." It was so ridiculous to be hearing this from a five year old! Then she proceeds to tell me about this amazing brownie pan she wants to get her grandma on her next birthday! Oi.

So the whole family was hanging out in our room a few nights ago and we were watching cartoons together. When the commercials came on, it was for one of those companies where you send in your gold jewelry for money. So my daughter , very serious and factual, says, "Oh, I've seen this one! You just put all the old jewelry you don't want anymore into the prepaid envelope," (this is where my husband lost it in laughter), "then you just mail it! Then you just count your cash!" (This was where I stopped breathing for several minutes...with tears.)

Mom was right. TV does rot your brain. The infomercials certainly will. We have since put a serious limit on the TV watching, to say the least.

Word Girl. She can watch Word Girl.

Word out!

Going nowhere fast

2009-05-28T09:08:00.000-07:00

A couple of Saturdays ago, the hubby and I decided to go to an indoor cycling class at our gym. I have always seen people in there on my way to yoga class and thought, "They are crazy." Peddling for a solid hour just didn't seem possible in my book.

Well, I finally decided to test my endurance and see how far I have come since January. I couldn't believe that we actually made it through the whole hour! I would have made it like 20 minutes 6 months ago, but I did it and actually felt good afterwards. Although my bum was hurting pretty bad from the seat, all and all I was proud of myself and decided to do it again a few days later.

I think I will be using this class for the remainder of our gym membership to see if I can shed these last 5 pounds.

Holiday to forget

2009-05-27T11:07:00.000-07:00

So last year for Memorial day weekend, my oldest ended up spending two days in the hospital for dehydration and a stomach bug. This year was my turn, I guess. I spent 7 hours in the local Emergency Department being treated for dehydration, nausea and abdominal pain on Monday. All is well now. (And no, I'm not pregnant....they checked!) It was not the way I pictured spending the long weekend. This is one tradition our family needs to end.

Food funk

2009-05-06T14:23:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to make dinners on a much more regular basis these days. Partly to save money, partly to control the type of foods we eat and the nutrition. But I have found myself in quite a rut the last few weeks. My children are extremely picky eaters and do not eat meat, so I am constantly aware of the fact that I need to have the non-meat portion of the meal be something that they like with good nutrition to boot.

I have tried just winging it on a nightly basis and just cooking whatever I feel like with the ingredients I have on hand, but that just isn't working for me. I like structure in all things and a dinner menu is no different. So I have been making my weekly dinner menu on Sundays and grocery shopping accordingly.

Other than Mexican night and pizza or pasta night, which we are having at least once a week each, I just don't know what to cook! I'm totally stuck and I don't know what to do. I know there are a million ways to cook chicken and beef, but I guess I'm just not in a experimental mood.

Girl in training

2009-05-02T06:38:00.000-07:00

So this Monday I began the work of potty training our 2 year old. This excites me in ways I can't describe, but there is a long way to go.

She did really amazing. I really wasn't sure what to expect; our oldest had a rough go of it on her first week with lots of accidents. But this girl is good, real good. Only a couple of partial accidents while making her way to the potty.

I've been wiping the little butts I helped create since 2003. I realize my wipe assistant days are far from over, but to see the light at the end of the diaper tunnel is a glorious thing.

For inquiring minds

2009-04-22T23:10:00.000-07:00

Okay. So because you asked...and because it's funny...and because my husband would just rather lose his memory of it, I will now tell the story of our first movie theater experience with our youngest. It's a bit long, but good.

I think the baby was about 2 or 3 months old and Ratatouille had just hit the theater with all this hype. My 3 year old at the time really wanted to see it and I thought it would be nice to go see a relaxing movie; the baby was young enough where she would pretty much just sleep through the whole thing...so we thought. My husband thought I was crazy for wanting to take a baby to a movie, but he indulged my desire to escape from my home sweet dungeon and took me out in public. My mom and her family also came with us. (Thank God!)

To take a step back in the story for a moment, both of our children had severe gastrointestinal issues for the first several months of their lives due to food sensitivities and other fun stuff. Before we figured out what was wrong with them, they would vomit after nearly every feeding. This was not just cute baby spit up...no, no. This was milk, shooting out of what seemed like a fire hose on her face attempting to put out a fire on the other side of our 6 foot long couch. We had a ritual of lining the couch and ourselves and the baby with old blankets and towels before every feeding. After trying many different brands and formula types, we finally did discover a formula that worked amazingly well when our first born was about 4 or 5 months old. ($$$$) When our second daughter started down the same Poltergeist road that her sister had paved years before, we switched from nursing to the magical formula immediately.

At the time of the movie experience, the baby had made the formula switch a couple weeks prior and was doing really well; cute baby spit up and everything. We met my mom at the movie, got our popcorn, took our seats. There was just enough time to mix a bottle up for a feeding before the room went dark. I fed our daughter during the previews and all was going normally. The movie starts. I ask my husband to burp the baby while I put away the bottle, etc. so I can enjoy the movie from the beginning. A couple of minutes later I hear the sound of liquid rushing through a small opening. I look over and she is at it again...all over her dad! She looked content and relieved, he looks pretty much the opposite. My husband doesn't not handle vomit well - vomit makes him vomit; yet there it was all over his shirt and down one arm. I was immediately sad. If she would have puked on me I would have gone to the bathroom to change her clothes, washed my shirt out, and gone right back to the movie. But my husband immediately jumped up and said, "We have to leave now!" This is when we left our 3 year old with my mom to watch the movie and got the heck out of there.

We were too far from our house and my mom didn't have a car seat, so we would have to wait the movie out and stick close to the theater. I changed the baby's clothes in the parking lot and my husband dry heaved as he tried to take his shirt off without making an even bigger mess. After using a large number of baby wipes, we then drove about a mile to Target so that I could run in and find a cheap shirt for the smelly guy. I run in...t-shirts on sale...awesome! I take it to the car and the hubby slips it on...sort of. It's a bit snug. Oops.

On the way back to the theater, we spot a Chipotle and decide to stop and kill some time. We go in, order, sit down. There we were, Barf Machine, Mr. Muscles and myself eating dinner and living the dream. Finally my mom calls to let us know the movie was over. Our daughter loved the movie. I still haven't seen it to this day. It would be over a year before my husband and I would be back in a movie theater - without the children, of course.

Weather wimp

2009-04-20T18:32:00.000-07:00

We are having unseasonably warm weather this week and it is making me very sad. We are supposed to reach the century mark today, and I really hope this doesn't happen. I know that summer is right around the corner and I am in no hurry to welcome it in April.

Last summer I was the most intolerant of the heat to date. By the first of August, I didn't care how much it cost me, I was going to be cool in my own home! As a stay-at-home mom for the last five years, I have always turned the thermostat up to 80 degrees in August and let the ceiling fans whip around on hyper-speed because I tried to save and not give an arm and a leg to the electric company. I'm scared of how unacceptable 100 degree high temperatures are to me this year. We had a fantastic, mild winter this year. We got rain, but not too much; I don't even remember getting any freeze warnings. It was the type of weather that people pay money for. Basically, I just got spoiled. I know I will get used to the summer heat after a while, but this year I just don't want to.

Eggs

2009-04-13T09:26:00.000-07:00

We had a great weekend with the kids.

Saturday was cloudy, cool and rainy. (Yay! My favorite.) I went to yoga class, (over halfway to forming a habit), cleaned house a bit, watched a DVD of the 7 Habits, and went to a movie as a family. The girls were SO good! I could not believe they made it through the whole movie without moving; not even a potty break. This was the baby's first successful theater experience...we attempted it long ago, unsuccessfully. It was hilarious for everyone but my husband. (But that's another story entirely.)

Sunday was a very busy day of driving from family member to family member, but it was also nice. I enjoyed seeing everyone, and thought of some people who should have been there. You know who you are...my blog followers. This was the first year the baby was really into the egg hunting...so cute! It's always fun to see an exciting first time "Ooh!" reaction from a two year old. Just when she thought hunting the eggs was exciting enough, she realized they opened! Plus, the bonus, some of them had candy inside!!! She also found an egg with a dollar bill; that one was cast aside. (I have so much more to teach her.) Maybe my 5 year old will help me; she pocketed her cash.